Oneupweb : I’m a Nut, But Not Just a Nut
So I was doin’ some optimization for a big shot in Asia the other day. I finished up some title tags and some headers and I’m like, hey, dude, a little somethin’ for the effort? And he turns to me, and he gives me the one crazy SEO trick to rule them all. And that’s what I was gonna share today.
Buuuutttt, it turns out today is Bill Murray’s 61st birthday, and that, friends, is much more important.
I’ll keep the secret to myself for one more month, and instead offer you the Top 5 Lessons Marketers Have to Learn from God (a, not “the”) Himself, Mr. Bill Murray.
1. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I’m going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.”
Goals are the most important part of any marketing mission. What are you looking to accomplish? Drifting at sea isn’t going to do anything. Find the shark that killed your friend. And then destroy it. Or at least fight it.
If we’re “friends”, brands, then hang back, say hi, remind me of who you are, but don’t run across the street to greet me. This means you, Company X that I’m friends with on Facebook who doesn’t shut up but I won’t mention by name here because that would be rude. This means stop with anything that violates my carefully constructed bubble of vanity online. I don’t care about you – I care about me.
We’re Americans, folks. Our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We’re mutts. And we’re mostly idiots. You can talk up anything nice – and that’s what will really sell.
This isn’t cynicism—it’s realism (and maybe a little cynicism). But the inspirational speech from Meatballs is more inspirational than any corny motivational sports movie speech ever made—because sometimes you’re going to lose and lose very badly. But Tripper speaks the Gospel—you keep on playing. If you have to win every time you try a new campaign or strategy, then you are a wimp. Get in there and get your head busted.
Big Ern McCracken hits us with more truth. Sometimes you have to suck it up and admit you were wrong. Even when your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag.
Taken to heart by our friends at, ahem, Qwikster.
That’s it. If you need help living the Murray-life, feel free to get in touch with Oneupweb.