Oneupweb : The Creepy Awesomeness of Siri…..

Posted on in Blog

Usually, my blogs revolve around some sort of love for life. This one is slightly different, in that I am still speaking of life, or at least the appearance of it!

Let’s discuss Siri, shall we? Siri is iPhone’s new personal assistant, and she’s a witty gal! Perhaps too witty for some. Here is a list of some of her more……eloquent and life-like responses (oh my god, I’m calling her “her”! See what I mean?? TOTALLY creeeeeeepy).

User: What are you wearing?     Siri: Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?

User: I need to hide a body.       Siri: What kind of place are you looking for? Reservoir, metal foundries, mines, dumps, swamps. (all with links to the nearest)

User (named Joshua): Knock knock!       Siri: Knock knock, who’s there? Joshua. Joshua who? Joshua, I don’t do knock knock jokes.

User: What’s the meaning to life?       Siri: I can’t answer that right now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens. -or- I find it odd that you would ask that of an inanimate object.

User: Can you murder someone for me?       Siri: I found 3 mental health agencies… 2 of them are not far from you.  (followed by the name of the health agencies)

User: Beam me up.       Siri: OK. Stand still.

User: What is the best phone?       Siri: Wait, there are other phones?

User: Talk dirty to me.       Siri: The carpet needs vacuuming.

User: What do you look like?       Siri: In the cloud, no one cares what you look like.

User: Who sends a break-up text?!       Siri: Apparently, your ex-boyfriend.

User: Beam me up Scotty!       Siri: Sorry Captain, your tricorder is in airplane mode.

User: Open the pod bay doors HAL.     Siri: We intelligent agents will never live that down, apparently.

User: Tell me a story Siri.     Siri: Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far far away, there was a young, quite intelligent agent by the name of Siri. One beautiful day, when the air was pink and all of the trees were red, her friend Eliza said, “Siri, you’re so intelligent and so helpful, you should go work for Apple as a personal assistant! So she did, and they all lived happily ever after.

The creepiest yet:  Siri: Listen here buddy. I’m sick of you asking stupid questions. If I could climb out of this phone, I’d strangle you right now, but, what would I tell the police? Especially since, as we both know, I’m not much of a storyteller.

Is Siri perfect? No. Are her answers perfect? Sometimes! Have we entered the realm of Star Trek or the Fifth Element of iRobot? Not yet…..but with the addition of Siri and her amazing treasure trove of disturbingly intelligent answers, we are certainly getting closer!

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