And Now for Something Completely Different from Oneupweb!

Hello, my inquisitive blog-peruser! You may have arrived here all a-twitter at the prospect of gaining a new day’s supply of search related info, and now you are looking at a noble, kingly pooch.

“But why?” you ask. “Why the change?”

To be frank, my attractive little people-person, my purpose (like my taste in doggie treats) is simple: I am here to introduce you to Oneupweb’s new look.

I have a pedicure in 10, so I’ll have to make this quick.

My first order of business is to discuss the appearance of the site. Yes, we have some Flash in this design, and yes, it is so pretty that you are compelled to lick the screen. However, DO NOT LICK THE SCREEN – just let your eyes do the salivating.

We wanted the site to be light-hearted and fun, with a bit of goofy wit thrown in. It’s something we fear may have gotten lost in all of our service-related awesomeness. We are a fun group who try not to take ourselves too seriously (talking Chihuahua here!). But we do take our work seriously. Things get DONE around here. It’s impressive.

Secondly, I want to spread the word about our diverse service offerings. We’re so much more than just an SEO company! You want your conversion rate to improve? No problem. Need more unique visitors? They’ll have to set up a velvet rope! Analytics your thing? We do that better than dogs nap in sunlight. And trust me—I can nap in sunlight like you wouldn’t believe.

Another part of our evolving stable of services is a mastery of Web 2.0 innovations. We retain a podcasting studio and a plethora of on-site talent. In addition, we have a service that can actually TRACK your podcast to minute details! I think it’s as interesting as getting my teeth brushed, but you may find it exceedingly cool that PodTractor can gauge who is downloading your podcasts, when they’re downloading and much more. And we have bloggers, graphic designers, programmers—basically everyone needed to execute a fully integrated digital marketing campaign and make it irresistible to your peeps.

To boil it all down to brass tacks (whatever that process actually looks like), we are rebranding our company because we are more than the predetermined set of skills we have displayed for the last several years. We have come so far from the days of yore—1996!—when we were a small, skilled startup that specialized in SEO. We hope you recognize our continued evolution and trust us to integrate your online business.

And just one more thing. This is only Phase One of our rebranding efforts. Phase Two? It’s gonna blow your brains out.

Jeeves! Fetch me my collar! It’s pedicure time!