Okay, I keep catching flack from everyone about how I never give thumbs down reviews. It’s true. I rarely give a thumbs down. I try to keep a positive outlook on life. And besides, who wants to review stuff they hate?
Then I had this thought: why don’t I just review a list of things I hate? That way, the haters and naysayers who want a thumbs down review can come here and get their fill.
Watch Craig Anton’s Mad TV Skit below to see how this will work.
I say: YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!
You say: WHAT?!
So, here we go. The top 10 things I hate:
1. You Know What I Hate?! What!? Lame Viral Video Attempts:
There are some viral videos that make you smile afterward. And you think to yourself— now that was clever. Then there are others that make you feel used and abused. I can’t help but wonder how many hours this poor little girl was forced to practice this dance to get it just perfect. The whole video to me seems cheesy. And what does this little girl’s dancing have to do with influencing people anyway? I’m sure she just started dancing and everyone joined in. Right. Now all it’s missing is kittens.
2. You Know What I Hate?! What!? Bloggers Who Use Misleading Titles To Gain Traffic
I won’t mention any names but you can read a review I wrote a while back (Oneupweb Reviews: HTC EVO 4G) concerning a blogger who likes to use misleading and outlandish titles to attract readers to his blog. I really hate this. There’s a difference between good SEO and just plain misleading people to increase traffic. It’s the same issue I have with lame viral video attempts. If people are expecting to see one thing, and you show them another, you may acquire traffic to your site but you won’t see conversions. And you might anger people enough for them to write reviews exposing your subterfuge. Or you could be attacked by an angry mob.
Also, it’s just wrong. If you are guilty of this, please stop. You do not pass go. You do not collect $200. And may god have mercy on your soul.
3. You Know What I Hate?! What!? When Facebook Makes Changes and Doesn’t Let Anyone Know Until the Last Minute
Have we not learned Facebook? As social media leaders, you have to give people time to buy into your idea. Change is difficult for anyone – even good change. If you don’t give people time to accept change, they will not handle it well. I understand it’s frustrating, and it seems like this can hold back progress at times. But what is leadership if no one follows?
4. You Know What I Hate?! What!? Apple Fanboys Who Act Like They Are Better Than Everyone Else
I was asked the other day by a co-worker why I didn’t like Apple products. I told him that I didn’t dislike Apple products, just the people who use them (he he). The truth is, I think Apple makes a great set of hardware and software products. But people who look down on others for using PCs are just plain snobs. I hate that. I’m a Mac… I’m a PC. This debate is so stupid. I don’t know about you, but I’m a person who’s not defined by a brand or product.
5. You Know What I Hate?! What!? SPAM!
Does this one even need an explanation? Marketers— if you have to do this as part of your job, at least be relevant with your spam. I laugh when I see those comments on articles that read: “Great article, check this out (Insert Link Here).” Then the link isn’t even relevant to the article. At least act like you read the article. And if your link isn’t relevant to the article, you might have that angry mob I mentioned earlier on your hands.
6. You Know What I Hate?! What!? When People Proclaim Themselves as Gurus, Evangelists, Ninjas, Samurai, or Situations
My first thought is that unless you’re in a job interview, self-proclamation is narcissistic. If you have to tell people you’re an expert, chances are you probably aren’t. If you want to be taken seriously as a marketer, use a different title. Better yet, let others define you as an expert: Oneupweb Awards.
7. You Know What I Hate?! What!? Being Rick Rolled
Rick Rolled— the ultimate deception. One time, my friend called for a Chinese fire drill and only one person got out of the car and ran all the way around – only to find that the door had been locked. Best moment ever! As he stood there, surrounded by cars staring at him, the look on his face was priceless. Being Rick Rolled is quite similar. It’s when you think you are going see one thing and then this guy pops up – Rick Astley, singer of the 80’s pop hit ‘Never Gonna Give You Up. It’s so annoying (but sort of funny).
8. You Know What I Hate?! What!? Lady Gaga
I guess when it comes to music, I want an artist who actually is a talented musician. But artists like Gaga are more clever marketers than musicians. And what was up with the meat dress? Attention starved much? Get it… starved? Sorry.
9. You Know What I Hate?! What!? When People Make Fun Of Hayden Christensen’s Acting In Star Wars
Hayden Christensen was fantastic in Star Wars. I don’t care what anyone else says about this. Was he whiny? Yes, but that was his character. A young man with a lot of emotion and too much power. Reminds me of Mark Zuckerberg— minus the emotion.
10. You Know What I Hate?! What!? People who don’t follow back on Twitter
That’s just rude. Especially when you’re uber-popular and you only follow two people back. To me that just says you think that what you have to say is way more important than everyone else.
Oneupweb Reviews: Thumbs Down!
Okay, I did it. This is a list of things that I hate and would give a thumbs down. But to all you who want more thumbs down reviews, I’m not stopping here. In the future, I will make sure to keep a balance of things I hate and things I love.
Is there something out there that you just hate? Something that you would give a thumbs down. Please say this review, that would be hilarious. Let us know in the comments below!