Oneupweb Reviews: Valentine’s Day Gifts – The Worst & The One From CafePress

Ah yes! It’s that time again. Cupid is perched in his favorite location with arrows drawn and you can’t stop it, even if you want to folks – Valentine’s Day is coming!

As always, it’s sure to set adored lovers everywhere into one of two states: cuddly enchantment or fits of rage. Both of which can be equally annoying, right?

So, as a level-headed woman (if I do say so myself), I’m here to help ensure that you can inspire reactions that fall somewhere in between those two extremes.

Together, we’ll walk through the leading don’t-even-think-about-it online gift and the best possible present you can give. I’ll tell you why you shouldn’t/should give it, and what we (read: lady valentines) think when we receive it that makes us think you’ve lost your mind or that it’s quite possibly the best Valentine’s Day ever.

The Leading Offender

The token Valentine’s Day bouquet with a teddy bear attached, possibly a balloon.

You know what I’m talking about. The one plastered across the home page of every online flower delivery site from January 1st until the day before the big day. Yep, that’s the one. You think it’s there to make your job easier. But really, they’ve outsmarted you. It’s there because you’ll buy it, your valentine will hate it (either in silence or out loud) and then, to apologize for your phony insincere gift, you’ll return to the very same site because you’ve been there before, to buy more. It’s nuts. But you do it.

Why You Shouldn’t Give It

1. It’s overpriced. (Click through a few more pages, you’ll see)

2. Your valentine will know you put no real though into it, and even better, bought it last minute.

3. Teddy bears are essentially dog-toys if your valentine is over the age of 15. Honest. Would you buy your human valentine a dog toy?

Why We Don’t Like Receiving It

1. Every adored valentine in the office – and possibly the next five on the block – got the exact same thing. And now, the office conversation has shifted to “He’s (possibly She’s) Just Not That Into You.” This year Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, so you run much less risk of being the laugh of the office, but that still doesn’t make this gift OK.

2. We know you got ripped off.

3. We know you waited until the last possible second. We hate that.

The Gift That Cupid Himself Would Give

Something (read: anything) personal.

Or, as Google will show, something from Café Press.

Kudos to you Café Press for planning ahead and positioning so strongly in the natural rankings for the search query world’s greatest Valentine’s Day gift. While I’m not certain that anything in particular on the page that this result links to is an advisable gift, I did advise gifts with a personal touch and you can create just about anything wearable you’d like at Café Press.

The critical step here though, is to create something on your own – something meaningful to your valentine. Does your sweetie have an affinity for Brett Michaels? You could craft your very own t-shirt for your Rock Of Love loving lover.

Here’s Why It Works

1. It’s personal.

2. While you can wait about as long to order this as you did to order that half-dead bouquet – your valentine won’t know it. And it’s highly unlikely (depending on your creative skill) that any other lucky valentine will be sporting the same gift.

3. No part of the gift will be given to the dog.

4. You can actually make money at Café Press if other people buy items of your design. Look mom! No rip-off!

For the record, anything personal will do. Cut their lunch sandwich into a heart shape. Make dinner. Frame a photo. I was just dying to know who was holding Google’s top natural search spot for “world’s greatest Valentine’s Day gift”.

But, if you do venture to Café Press to make your love wearable, make sure you stop back here and show us what you made. I’m dying to see it!